Playing Hookie:

We've played hookie from church 2 Sundays in a row now and gone out for a quiet breakfast instead. It's wonderful and the guilt is minimal.. there is still some guilt because we've been blessed so much. Especially in this economy where Tom was laid off and then offered 2 great jobs. Our reason for playing hookie is it's the only truly alone time we get together. My mum watches the babies while we go to mass. She like the idea of us praying and doesn't mind us leaving her with both the kids alone. We don't feel guilty about it cause we're supposed to be at mass so it's official time off. And we've been really good about sticking to the hour. The first Sunday we went to Walker brothers. It used to be our favourite breakfast place. Still is. I almost always eat chocolate and strawberry crepes while Tom has eggs benedict. It was wonderful enjoying an old routine. We tried doing it after Rachael was born, but there's nothing like a crying baby or even worse a restless toddler to ruin a good breakfast. After nana leaves I think we'll have to wait a good couple of years before we try it again. I'm not comfortable with sitters as yet. My babies go to daycare and the idea of leaving them on the weekend with a sitter so I can spend some time with Tom still appalls us. For now we'll be my parents and drag our kids everywhere... Oh hell Rachael has been to hooters twice, and to a bar in bombay.... and she's survived and enjoyed it..lol..all before she turned 2

One Summer Day in Spring

Exhaustion has just set in and I'm crabby. It's been a long day. I have to go easy on myself. It was a wonderful summer day... a treat in spring ... it seemed sinful to stay inside. So we spent all day outside and now we're all exhausted. Rachael went to bed with a scolding :( I have to remember that she's as tired as I am... and as crabby... and I have to be the bigger person .. still it's hard! Some days I just wish she would listen... she does... most of the time... and I have to focus on all the good things she does. She is only 2! Tomorrow I'm going to give her extra hugs. Maybe she'll forgive me for the yellings today. Lawrence is growing wonderfully. Guilt is a funny thing. It doesn't ever let go. I hardly spend much time with Lawrence. I'm so busy trying to make sure Rachael is okay and he's such an unassuming baby. Second babies are wonderful. So much less stressful. Rachael is a wonderful daughter, but she will grow up a high maintenance woman. I think most first kids are. She has all the characteristics... looks to me for approval even when she's playing ... it's so cute... and at the same time she's so independent. I think I will go read some articles on the "2 year old sibling". Oh and weight is going nowhere... I've put it on hold for now.

Quick post today. Current weight this morning was 177.5 which is surprising and motivating. Yesterdat I walked about 2.5 miles in 1 hour. However I ATE a LOT! Drank 1 glass of milk and didn't make it to my needed glasses of water. Today I'm doing better on the water, but nothing so far on the milk. I think I will have milk for dinner tonight. Had a great breakfast today. Chocolate crepes with Tom at Walker brothers. We skipped mass. Tom starts work tomorrow and we needed some alone time, so we went to breakfast. It was wonderful. Especially after the arguments yesterday. Wasn't able to walk much today. Got a 10 minute quick walk around the neighbourhood cause it's cold and rainy. Will try to do more tomorrow.

Starting Point

April 17, 3:30. I've just had my first fat cry. I'm sure there will be many more in the coming weeks, but I'm hoping not as many. I realised something yesterday. I hate taking pictures at the moment because I'm FAT. I've been blaming my mum and tom for it, saying they're bad at taking pics, but then we went through a whole bunch of old pics when I was 135 lbs and I looked gorgeous in pics by the very same people.... so that's the verdict. I hate it when my hair is short and I'm fat. Right now I have both. It's almost 6 weeks now, and I have my appointment with the dr. on Monday, 20th, so I will finally ask him if I can star doing crunches. Over the past days I've played with dieting, and walking but not seriously enough. Today I went to Marshalls and saw all the flab, and felt heart broken. So instead of spending $250 on getting a professional to take our pics so I can look reasonably good I've decided that I'm going to lose weight, grow my hair and then spend the cash on new clothes. YAY. Now I have to figure out a plan. Consistency, routine and not too much. That's what tom said before he went off to the gym. It's the mistake I always make.. trying everything at once. For now I will stick to the following:
Drink 3 glasses of milk a day
Drink 8 glasses of water
Walk for 1 hour.
Take my vitamin and calcium
For now my stats are : Happy weight - 135 : Pre pregnancy weight - 165: Pregnancy Weight - 209 : Current weight - 180. Weight to lose to pre pregnancy: 15 lbs. Weight to lose to happy weight - 45. Good luck to me.