Bone numbingly tired today. DS kept me up all night. Okay that's not true, he wanted to be fed at his 3 hour schedules, and I totally didn't want to wake up, so had to pry my eyes open at 4 hour intervals, when he went from little "I'm hungry nosies", to "I'm going to scream the house down if you don't feed me". So of course everything makes me crabby today, which then becomes a vicious circle. Doesn't help that I now have a stye forming on my eye. I hate those things and they're so painful, and there's no fix. Just wash my hands a million times a day. Okay I'm definitely crabby. Had a couple of good things though... My scale said 172.5 this morning. It's not WI so can't record it officially, but it made me so happy. And I'm beginning to wear my size 18 pants on my hips instead of my waist, so happy happy. Now my day would be perfect if the day care director would find it in her heart to give me a cash break for next month, when both my kids will be out for a week. Something anything. Question, have any of you moms out there found that as soon as you had kids you went from 'being your own person', to this stranger who has to be nice all the time. No really, being nice doesn't come naturally to me... crabby does..lol.. and yet I continually remind myself like a million times a day - Be nice. Be nice to the teacher, you want her to pay attention to your daughter, don't lose it at Ds's substitute, she really is doing the best she can, smile at the director, if you're nice she's more likely to give you breaks that when you're a meanie. Be nice to the neighbours, they will watch out for your kids. Okay, I'm a reasonably nice person, and I'm reasonably nice most of the time, but in my single days, I found that I didn't really care if people liked me or didn't. Tough Sh** if they didn't. But now I think more in terms of my kids. We moved last year, and I remember thinking... we're going to live here forever, DD & DS are going to go to school here and grow up here. I must be a reasonably likeable person. I must smile when I don't feel like. I must make conversation even if I want to hide with a book. ... I must I must. Oh well I must also lose this wt.
Friday, July 31, 2009
The beginning of a LONG day Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Bone numbingly tired today. DS kept me up all night. Okay that's not true, he wanted to be fed at his 3 hour schedules, and I totally didn't want to wake up, so had to pry my eyes open at 4 hour intervals, when he went from little "I'm hungry nosies", to "I'm going to scream the house down if you don't feed me". So of course everything makes me crabby today, which then becomes a vicious circle. Doesn't help that I now have a stye forming on my eye. I hate those things and they're so painful, and there's no fix. Just wash my hands a million times a day. Okay I'm definitely crabby. Had a couple of good things though... My scale said 172.5 this morning. It's not WI so can't record it officially, but it made me so happy. And I'm beginning to wear my size 18 pants on my hips instead of my waist, so happy happy. Now my day would be perfect if the day care director would find it in her heart to give me a cash break for next month, when both my kids will be out for a week. Something anything. Question, have any of you moms out there found that as soon as you had kids you went from 'being your own person', to this stranger who has to be nice all the time. No really, being nice doesn't come naturally to me... crabby does..lol.. and yet I continually remind myself like a million times a day - Be nice. Be nice to the teacher, you want her to pay attention to your daughter, don't lose it at Ds's substitute, she really is doing the best she can, smile at the director, if you're nice she's more likely to give you breaks that when you're a meanie. Be nice to the neighbours, they will watch out for your kids. Okay, I'm a reasonably nice person, and I'm reasonably nice most of the time, but in my single days, I found that I didn't really care if people liked me or didn't. Tough Sh** if they didn't. But now I think more in terms of my kids. We moved last year, and I remember thinking... we're going to live here forever, DD & DS are going to go to school here and grow up here. I must be a reasonably likeable person. I must smile when I don't feel like. I must make conversation even if I want to hide with a book. ... I must I must. Oh well I must also lose this wt.
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