Fear of the unknown:

I cried on the phone yesterday while chatting with my ma. She didn't know cause I've got a horrible cold and cough anyways... so she put all the sniffling down to that. But I'm afraid. Next year at this time I'll have 2 little bunnies. Rachael will be almost 3 and Lawrence will be 9 months. I fear the winters in Chicago. This week we've all been down with the cough, cold and fever. Last year around Christmas we were all miserably ill. How I survived last year I'll never know. This year I tell myself my ma will be here soon. 3 more weeks. She's coming to stay with us for 6 months to help with Rachael through this winter.

I feel better today. I tell myself that next year I won't be pregnant. Yes I'll have 2 little bunnies.. but I live so much closer to work now. The drive will be marginal and Rachael will be a great elder sister helping me in every way I can possibly imagine. I hope she realises all the hopes I have for her being a good mother's helper..lol.. I must remember this year to make my own ma happy. I take her for granted completely believing she lives to make me happy. And while that may be wonderful to know your children feel they can count on you, I'm sure it would be even better if they didn't take you for granted..lol..